Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
