we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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