There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
