If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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