a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm passing your future prison.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
