I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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