I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Randomize
