I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
