Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's blow job season.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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