plz talk dirty to me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
