I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
