it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
