everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
