Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Soap is not a condiment
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize