just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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