Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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