Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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