Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
