when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
