Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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