I'm going to jail i love you
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
