ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
