the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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