yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
