I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
