HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
