Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
