I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
