can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im holly from the hills drunk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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