Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
