OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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