Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
