Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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