the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize