The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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