I love black thongs
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
