I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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