Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
