dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
