Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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