she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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