I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
