well I can't set my house on fire every night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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