Apparently you make a good broom.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You ruined the universe
Randomize