I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
