im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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