You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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