how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
