"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
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okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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