I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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