I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
