I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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