Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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