Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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