I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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