My hand turned me down
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
