Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
