no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am