ADVERTISEMENT

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

  Fav 11 1327 4287

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

  Fav 8 874 2350

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog

  Fav 263 1325 5995

  share tweet
  

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket

  Fav 53 1233 4683

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?

  Fav 9 4091 1128

  share tweet
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

  Fav 16 5288 1932

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic

  Fav 4 2846 922

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"

  Fav 12 2880 1677

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway

  Fav 16 1507 732

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?

  Fav 3 811 820

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it

  Fav 1 902 530

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner

  Fav 4 789 540

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.

  Fav 3 525 361

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  When are your genitals available?

  Fav 2 394 141

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful

  Fav 0 23 33

  share tweet
  

Randomize