plz talk dirty to me
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
