Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
