That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sext me about skeletons
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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