i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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